Your Etiquette IQ Will Break or Make U.

[ArLena Richardson The ePublicist]

Learning how to improve your networking and dining skills is important to any professional who wants to bolster his or her status and presence in the community. Whether you are entertaining socially or for business, whether you are representing your company or yourself, good manners will set you above the rest.
Let's say that it's your first week on the job, and you've been invited to a cocktail party and dinner, hosted by your new boss in honor of his newest client, a bigwig with a lot of money to invest.
You check your suit - impeccable. Not a hair is out of place. You are ready for anything.
You stroll through the door. The room is full of long-term clients. People are chatting in small groups, hovering over the hors d'oeuvres, sipping on drinks. Did someone say "drinks"? Aah, a drink to sooth the nerves . . .

Not so fast, said Jacqueline Whitmore, an international-protocol consultant, owner of The Protocol School of Palm Beach and author of Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work.
"Stay away from 'traps' - the bar and the buffet," said Whitmore. "Even though a lot of people congregate there, they often stay there."
You could become stuck talking (and drinking) with the same people all evening. Remember: You're there to impress your boss and to get to know your clients, not to party.
If your job is in sales or marketing, you should have asked for a list of guests ahead of time. This will give you a great opportunity to research the people who will be attending. Look up their companies on the Internet. Find out who they are, what they are known for, and whether they've done anything special lately, so you will have something to talk about.
"Before you go in," said Whitmore, "work a plan, or plan to fail. Have an agenda. Know who's going to be there, and whom you want to meet."


If, for whatever reason, you didn't receive a list of prominent guests, find your employer and ask him or her whom you should meet.
Then look for your entry. If two people are in a discussion, Whitmore said, don't interrupt them. It is better to join a conversation of three or more people. If you are on the shy side and are not comfortable meeting powerful clients, Whitmore suggests you ask someone to act as a "connector."
"Find someone who knows the person you want to meet, and ask them to make an introduction," she said. "But never monopolize a person's time, especially if the person is a VIP. If you see they don't have time, schedule a time to speak with them later, or invite them to lunch."


If your new position is in public relations or in customer support, volunteer to help at the party. Assign yourself the "job" of official greeter, or walk around the room and refresh drinks. That will give you the opportunity to speak with everyone there.
Such an ambitious act is also sure to get you noticed as a "doer" instead of a "watcher." After all, you are there with a mission - to make a good first impression. "Networking is not a scavenger hunt to see who can collect the most business cards," said Whitmore. "If you make two or three good connections the entire evening, that can boost your business. Concentrate on creating relationships and friendships. Don't try to make a sale at the event."
Once cocktails have been served and people have settled in, the announcement is made that dinner is served. Thinking that you have this party under control, you head for your table and see that multiple spoons and forks line each side of your plate. Why, a small spoon and fork are at the top of the plate. Where to start?

Whitmore recently held a Protocol for Professionals seminar at the Ritz-Carlton Palm Beach, in Manalapan. Attendees, ranging from an elementary school teacher to a Canadian diplomat, and from an occupational therapist to a director of yacht charters, all learned what, and what not, to do in social settings and at the dinner table.
The seminar included a sumptuous five-course dinner prepared by the Ritz-Carlton, during which Whitmore gave instructions and advice on how to handle multiple utensils, the proper way to pass salt and pepper, and where to leave your napkin when you excuse yourself temporarily from the table.
"The chief executive officers I've interviewed said that their biggest pet peeve was watching an employee talk with a mouth full of food," said Whitmore. Frederic Bolduc, 32, director of the Quebec Government Office in Miami, attended the seminar. As a diplomat for the Canadian government, he attends many high-end functions.
"I decided to polish my business etiquette and protocol, since it is an integral part of my job," he said. "We are well trained in protocol, but I wanted more specifics in dining etiquette, particularly in local American protocol."
Themis Quiros, an accountant at the Rehabilitation Center for Children and Adults in Palm Beach, agreed: "I give a big party for my birthday every year, and now it will be better because of all I've learned."

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If you want to see where you stand on the subjects of business and social etiquette skills, you can take Whitmore's etiquette test on her Web site at Etiquetteexpert.

Written by Joanne L. Harris
Source: PalmSpringsPost.com

compliments: the ar lena richardson agency arlena.com The ePublicist™

[TheArtiste Hassan]

I see that Bill took the advantage of this article to put it on his special set of Scales the he alone carries in this community. Yes Ar Lena, the proper etiquette is indeed refreshing to see practiced in all settings. It is good for business, social and family get-togetherings. I recall a party where my sister took 2 days preparing specially designed dishes with hand placed designs of different types of food. She set it out on the table and went to get dressed as the guest was beginning to arrive. When she returned to the table where she had set these beautiful arrangements, she was shocked to see that the initial few guest had eaten from the displays and destroyed the beauty that she was hoping to show off to the rest of the guest who were arriving. This broke her little heart and she cried openly. My question is: should she have covered the dishes, kept them back or was she to asume that the guest should have known better?

[Deborah Porter]

Sister ArLena,

This post was absolutely incredible and on point! As someone who plans and orchestrates special events, I see poor etiquette all the time or those that are so uncomfortable in social settings, they don't know what to do. One thing's for certain, not everyone is a born extrovert or social butterfly and therefore it would behoove that person to takes classes/lesson in networking/etiquette.

My pet peeve in social networking is people who try to sell me something. Ugh!! I believe your impression will be far more memorable if you approach everyone you mingle with with the attitude of how can I help YOUR business; remembering who does what, and then later connecting who you know with what someone else might need. And the universe always brings back to you what you put out there!

I also find that sending a short note following an event leaves a lasting impressing -- I never take a business card that I don't follow-up with that person later on; even if' it's just to say hi, remember me?

Bro. Hassan, I'm sure ArLena will reply but my unsolicited opinion is your sister should have left the dishes covered until she announced food was being served. And sorry, but I also think she should have been dressed already -- greeting guests at the door.

GREAT POST!!!